The Audacity by Katherine Ryan

The Audacity by Katherine Ryan

Author:Katherine Ryan [Ryan, Katherine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Doubleday Canada
Published: 2021-09-28T00:00:00+00:00


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After a few months of torture trying to juggle the beginning of my new relationship with the end of my old one, The Overlap became my boyfriend. I’d been hiding in plain sight for so long that TB eventually discovered what I’d been up to and finally agreed to move out. It hurt him deeply. I was heartbroken and ashamed to have acted so callously towards him. I felt both terrified by how he might react but also relieved that this could be the beginning of things getting better.

I’ve never regretted ending that relationship for a split second so I wouldn’t say things ultimately got ‘worse’…but my situation definitely took on a new incarnation of being shit for a while. I suppose I look at it as earning my freedom back by spending some time in jail. Community service at the very least.

The Overlap still slept with other women but now he lied about it and I’d find out from other people. I think he tried to do it less, which was a shame because it meant that I was left responsible for his sexual satisfaction. It made me happy to make him happy – I was ‘selfless’ in his eyes after all – but everything he liked sexually made me deeply uncomfortable. It started with him sending me photos of himself. These were more than nudes – they were full-blown pornographic images, like him covered in, ahem, ‘fluid’. I’d receive several of those daily and he’d get angry if I didn’t respond, or if I didn’t respond correctly.

I learned that he expected nothing less than an immediate, glowing review. He was clear that making him feel rejected was the worst thing that I could do, so I promised never to do it. He asked for photos of me in return and I hoped that he might accept smiling pics of me holding a coffee at the park. I sent him a selfie with a duck once and he wrote back ‘NO’, so I ended up sending the nudes he wanted. They were hot nudes too, and I absolutely drew the line at touching myself, so I stand by them as having been tastefully produced. It was never enough though and he’d sometimes grab his phone to film us having sex. Each time, I’d stay quiet about it and then delete the videos as soon as he went to the loo. Of course, I was reprimanded as soon as he discovered them gone but he wasn’t a complete rapist so I guess he understood that he’d have to respect my boundaries somewhat, even while trying to gently chip away at them anytime I was distracted. There was one occasion where I woke up in the morning and he proudly showed me photos he’d taken of himself wanking over me while I slept. Cute. I rarely got angry. I really wanted him to love me.

I guess because he was a desperate show-off, he’d gone to the trouble of creating a character called ‘Adam Diablo’, who bedded women every time the two of them went out together.



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